Characters that Raise You

Anne the newly adopted orphan.

What is that movie or book that you always ran to?  The one that made you laugh and made you cry.  The one whose glory never faded, even as you grew older.

It was the one you had to buy multiple copies of, because you wore it out.  It was the one that taught you about life, love, loss and who you wanted to be.  It was the one that inspired you and encouraged you.

For me, it was the movies: Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea.  Each is nearly four hours long, and ever since I was about 4 years old, I sat through those movies with a rapt attention that I didn't realize was unusual.  I didn't know half the words they used (being set in the late 1800s), but something about them touched me so deeply I couldn't be pulled away.

Anne with kindred spirit Diana.

In Anne I found a kindred spirit (a phrase I learned from those movies).  We saw the world in the same way (despite the fact that she was from 1800s coastal Canada, lived miles away from other homes, and was, in fact, not real).  She also talked too much, letting her mouth get her in trouble.  She was completely misunderstood by most of her peers, but when she made a true friend, it was a friend for life.  Anne was true to her mores, almost to a fault - and it took growing up to realize some ideals and axioms had to be re-evaluated.  Sometimes it took a while for her to learn a lesson, but her heart was always in the right place.
She could be terribly stubborn, rash and pig-headed, but when her temper cooled, she would own up to her mistakes.

Most importantly, Anne was passionate and driven, but she put family first.  And - she was a writer.  So now, the question begs, did she shape who I am?  Or did I just recognize my likeness in her? 

Anne the writer and teacher.

I frequently finding myself actually saying lines she said (and in 8 hours of a movie about a talkative girl, she has a lot of lines).  When I meet a new guy, I can't help but think, if just for a moment, "Is this my Gilbert?" (The love of her life that she doesn't realize until the last 3 minutes of the 8 hour saga).  When I was a kid, I prayed that my hair would turn red so we could really look like sisters (she too was very pale).  Unfortunately, hair as dark as mine doesn't just "turn" red and I was never allowed to dye it.  For years, I wanted dresses with "puffed sleeves" just like Anne had in the dress Matthew buys her for her birthday.  (P.S. - I'm pretty sure dresses with puffed sleeves haven't been around since the 1800s).

These days, I still watch Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea with as much love as I did at age 4.  It still makes me laugh and cry.  It feels like I am spending time with a best friend.  As a kid, my favorite of the two movies was the first - where Anne was younger.  As an adult, my favorite is the second - it is where I most see myself.  Even my mother admits that Anne helped raise me.  Is this weird?  Is this attachment to a fictional character unusual?

Anne with her Gilbert.

Call me crazy, but I'm glad I had Anne growing up.  In my mind, she always understood.  She experienced the same things I experienced; because even in 100 years, people and experiences don't change that much - just the machinery.  

First-Hand Poverty

The other night my Bible study girls and I went to The Relatives - a home for abandoned, abused or temporarily displaced children here in Charlotte.  They stay at "The Relatives" until their family is placed in a home (i.e. - is off the streets), or a foster home is found for them. 

I didn't know what to expect, but I showed up with our leader, carrying lasagna, salad, bread, watermelon and brownies.  From the moment we arrived, the nine children (ages 7 to 17), showed us a warm welcome.  They offered to help carry everything.  They asked what they could do to help - and over dinner, we talked. 

And it struck me, that I'm not sure I've ever had a real conversation with a truly impoverished child.  Perhaps I have without knowing it, but this was the first time I went into a situation, knowing the way they have lived and been raised, and sought out a relationship.  And what I saw broke my heart. 

These are loving kids with so much potential that has never been fully developed due to the circumstances of their lives.  One boy about age 12 stated coughing and a boy going into 3rd grade said, "He needs water" - jumped up, and made him a glass, bringing it back for him.  He didn't wait for one of the 14 other people in the room to do it.  He didn't hesitate when he saw his temporary friend in need - he just did what his heart told him was right.

Another little girl was hungry for love and acceptance.  You could see it in the way she hovered around us, asking for any little thing to do - pass out the food, fill the drinks - and you could see it in the way she hugged every single one of us when we left. 

I talked to one teenage boy for a while who says he wants to go to college, but he has no idea how he's going to get there.  He's being put back in 9th grade for missing so much school up in New York, and now, he's not even sure where he's going to high school.  But his dreams, no matter how unrealistic, are pure.  He wants to make something of himself - he's just never been shown how.

Two of the older teenage boys played basketball with me and encouraged me no matter how many times I missed the goal.  When I made it, they cheered.  And even though we were only playing with one ball, they gave the majority of the ball time to me.  When they shot, every shot was perfect.  One talked of being a basketball player for Duke.  The other wanted to become a professional football player - because that's all they've ever been taught they could do. 

There was only one teenage girl there, and she lamented being alone.  It was clear she had no female role models in her life, but she was sweet.  Every single one of them impressed me with their kindness, openness, and welcoming attitude toward a bunch of white girls showing up to feed them and talk with them.  But I guess, if you never really got much individual attention, you'd welcome it.

I left there feeling like we made a difference, but not the kind that would last forever.  Not the kind that only comes from spending hours a week with a child - teaching them how to be an adult, how to survive in a middle-class world, how to make something of themselves and how to keep out of trouble. 

The next time we go there, it will be a whole different set of kids.  But what will happen to the first group?  The situation seems impossible, because even if one were to get out of the mire of their downtrodden lives, what about the rest?

Movies that Make You Say "YES"!

Despite the craziness of work lately, I had a really lovely weekend.  On Friday I babysat for Nicole (the girl I tutor) and we hung out and watched two great movies. 

The first was Something Borrowed which got mediocre reviews at best, but I absolutely loved it.  The characters and emotions were all so believable and throughout the movie I was shouting at the TV either saying "Yes, so true!" or screaming at one of the characters for acting just like people I know in real life.  I feel like there are a lot of people in my age bracket who could stand to watch this movie.

The second was Jane Eyre, which was my 4th time seeing it, but I loved it just as much as the first.  That is one of my favorite books of all time, and that movie totally does it justice. 

Getting ready to jump on the bungee trampoline.

On Saturday I went to silk aerial in the morning, then Brandon came with me to Weddstock - a festival in Weddington I was covering for the paper.  It was actually pretty fun.  There was live music, animals and bungee trampolines.  I was really proud of myself because the last time I did bungee trampolines I screamed on the first five drops, but this time I was totally fine and I did a lot of flips in both directions (and front flipping on that thing is rather tricky).  I thank my silk classes for these new accomplishments.  I can also thank my silk classes for the fact that I can now do pull-ups (like three, but still!). 

That evening, I met my friend Flaviu at his shared condo with our other Romanian friend Dorian.  When I arrived, a 3rd Romanian guy, Charlie, was there with his parents and sister who were visiting from Cary.  It was really great meeting them and since Charlie's mom said she loved tango, Dorian and I gave her a demonstration before Flaviu and I went dancing at Latorres.  In between dances, we quizzed each other on crazy hard words like dilettante and epicurean, and I hate to say, he won.  He even has a list of such words on a Post-It on his wallet so he can work on ones he reads and doesn't know.  I think I've met my match. lol 

Flipping on the bungee jump.

Today I went to my first town meeting for Weddington.  Unfortunately, not enough of the board members showed up and the meeting was canceled; however, I got to know some people and made some contacts that should help with future stories. 


A few minutes ago my friend Sam from Galveston who I CouchSurfed with last summer (he's the one who taught me how to surf) arrived.  He's doing a 5,000 mile bike trip to raise money for his charity Infinity & Beyond which raises money for cancer research and families who need treatment and can't afford it.  He'll be visiting until Friday morning.

Interesting Encounter

So starting this week I'm beginning to cover Union County government which includes all the following municipalities: Weddington, Waxhaw, Marvin, Unionville, Fairview, Hemby Bridge, Lake Park, Marshville, Mineral Springs, Wingate and Wesley Chapel.  Nooo pressure there.

Anyway, so I immediately found out that Marvin in trying to annex surrounding areas and they don't want to be annexed so they are trying to avoid it by signing certain forms.  They've put up big signs saying "deny annexation" around the area and on Monday I drove out there to take pictures of them.  WELL, I park on the side of the road for this one sign and walk into the field where it is to take a photo and this man comes out of his house and starts YELLING at me to get off his private property and asking what I'm doing and what my name is and says he's going to call the sheriff.  Then he's asking who I work for and I tell him, but he's not listening very well because then he says "You said you work for the Enquirer Journal?" and I said "No, the Charlotte Observer" and he said, "The first time you said the Enquirer Journal" and I said, "No, I said The Charlotte Observer."  So he says "Well, I'm going to check on you miss Lauren Bailey!"  And I said, "You do that" and got in my car and left.

So, needless to say, it was an interesting first day on the job.  However, the man actually called me yesterday to apologize.  He talked to my source who is a friend of his in the area and confirmed that I was given permission to go out there.  The source gave him my number so he could call and say he was sorry.  But jeez, how about you not take someone's head off for taking a freaking picture??

I'm also starting to work on my writing sample for the graduate school applications.  I'm thinking of doing a string of short stories all taking different perspectives on loneliness.  The loneliness of a breakup, losing a child, going to war, divorce, growing up, etc.  Maybe I'll also make a collection of stories about joy.  Don't know yet.  But anyway, I'm feeling a bit better that at least I'm getting the ball rolling.  Applying to 10 grad schools is quite a feat...and will be very expensive!

Weekend in Raleigh

The Old Well - symbol of Chapel Hill.

Salsa on Wednesday night was really great - lifted my spirits and gave me some much-needed exercise!  Thursday I met with some ladies for a luncheon and to take notes on their group - these 12 have been meeting since 1974 once a month for lunch and they were such a fun group!  I can't wait to write the story about them.  From there I left for Chapel Hill.

Unfortunately, my old Shakespeare professor was out of town so we were unable to meet up, but I parked across from my old dorm and walked through campus including the lovely Arboretum which is awash with greenery this time of year.  Walking through campus - especially when it is so quiet and still - makes my heart ache with longing.  Just the sight of an old building where I took classes made me yearn to be back to stay.  It's hard to explain because it is like the school itself has its own identity and personality which beckons me.  Yes, I miss my classes and my old friends, but the school embodies something unique and real that has buried itself in my being and, I'm afraid, will never relinquish its hold.  The spell was broken somewhat when, as I sat reading in the Arboretum, the phone rang and Colene was on Franklin Street ready to get some dinner.

Dusk.

She had agreed to meet me in Chapel Hill for dinner and a small campus tour.  We ate at Pepper's Pizza, got ice cream from Ben & Jerry's (because LocoPops changed locations and YoPo only accepted cash and we didn't have any), then walked through campus back to my car where I pointed out monument after building after street that held meaning for me.  I'm sure Colene was thrilled. lol

Once back at her place in Raleigh, we met her husband and his friends out at a sports bar for an hour or so.  They all work with the football team at NC State and work until about 10 p.m. every night since it is currently training camp.

On Friday, Colene and I got up and went to the gym in her apartment complex for an hour. Then we went to Shelly Lake park nearby and walked 2.5 miles around the lake.  Then we came home and played tennis at Colene's complex (which we both rather suck at, but it was fun).  After showering, we went to dinner at Tir Na Nog Irish pub.  They had live music - first by an old Irishman, then by a group of drummers and bagpipers.  It was pretty cool.  After that, we went line dancing at a local saloon.  Needless to say, I was exhausted that night.

On Saturday we played a bit of tennis but it was threatening rain and right before we finished up, I twisted my ankle.  Luckily, Colene is an EMT so we went inside and she iced it for 20 min and it felt much better after that.  We went to go see X-Men First Class at the cheap theater (which I loved just as much as the first time I saw it) then to Crabtree Mall for a couple hours.  The mall was absolute chaos.  I don't know who designed the parking garage, but they should be banned from participating in any type of architectural work ever again.  It is absolutely crazy - and added in with the people who don't know how to drive and those who walk out in front of your car, it was stressful.  Inside wasn't much better.  For one, I've never seen a mall where one could not get to the next floor of the department store without exiting into the mall and going up on the main escalator then re-entering the store.  How ridiculous is that??

The bagpipe and drum band at the Irish Pub.

On the plus side, I did get two shirts that I love from H&M for really cheap.  I don't think I've been to an H&M since I was in Europe in '09.

That evening, I drove over to my friend Jason's house who lives 5 minutes from Colene.  His parents were visiting him from Charlotte and the four of us went to the Dutch club's Klaverjassen card came night (which just happened to be this weekend).  It was really nice to see Lieselotte's parents, though being back at a Dutch club gathering made me miss her so much!  However, I had a great time and came in about 5th place out of 17, which is pretty good I think.  Jason's mom was the big winner - luck must run in their family because apparently last month Jason was the winner.

We didn't end up leaving the house where we were playing until after 12, which meant I didn't get back to Colene's until 1 a.m.  This morning I got up at 9:30 and met my friend Aaron for brunch before heading back to Charlotte.

It was a busy weekend.

Culture Shock

Today the culture shock hit.  That sounds sort of ridiculous - how does one get culture shock when they were only gone for two weeks and were in the same country?  Well, it happens.  I'm not really sure what triggered it.  My aunt is in town and Mom, Grandma, Aunt Coleen and I all went to see The Help this afternoon.  It was so, so good - almost as good as the book - and made me cry four times, but it may have helped bring on the feeling of loneliness that one gets from culture shock.  Not that the movie itself triggered it, but whenever you watch a movie in a theater or read a book for a long time without interruption, you come out of it feeling a bit lost in the real world.

Out on the boat.

Then, going over to Uncle Bob's afterward, everyone sat around playing games on the computer, or iPad or iPod and I was just sitting there, youngest by 30 years, staring into space wondering why talking is apparently not enough to keep people entertained these days.  All my friends make fun of me for not having a smart phone.  I don't care.  I don't want one.  I know one day I will have to give in, but I don't want to be one of those people who, when the merest hint of boredom approaches, whips out the phone and starts to play Angry Birds or Stupid Zombies.  And that is where you get me longing for Utah.

I miss walking/hiking every day and being out in nature.  I miss the stars and how everyone there seemed just as enthused about the rocks as I did.  You also didn't see people playing Angry Birds on the top of Angel's Landing or amongst the hoodoos in Bryce.  Yes, the people in Moab may have been hippies, but life just felt slower and the people more appreciative.  I could be doing what all travelers do - seeing the world around them in rose colored glasses - but what's wrong with rose-colored glasses?  I'm in favor of them.  I'd rather be ignorantly happy than cynically depressed.

It's just hard going from living with the land to being in a constantly air conditioned house surrounded by pavement and cars and buildings and light pollution.  Thank God I don't live somewhere like NYC or LA.  I'd really be going crazy by now.



On a happier note, I went out on my Uncle Bob's boat with Mom Monday and it was hot but really fun.  I also completed several complicated moves in silk aerial yesterday and there was no falling on my head.  I'm definitely getting stronger and more flexible which is awesome. 

Last night, when Aunt Coleen arrived, she brought 2 giant trash bags of clothes/shoes to me from Megan (my cousin).  It's better than Christmas.  I never have to buy clothes thanks to her and they're all so beautiful!  I had fun trying everything on and giving Mom and Aunt Coleen a fashion show. lol

Clothes and shoes from Megan!

Tonight I'm going to salsa and tomorrow at 11 I'm having lunch with a group of elderly ladies who have been meeting for lunch once a month for about 20 years.  I'm going to do a story on them and I'm sure I'll enjoy some lively and entertaining conversation.  From there, I'm driving to Chapel Hill to visit and get some things done (like pick up transcripts), then I'm staying with Colene in Raleigh for the weekend.  I'm also going to join the Dutch club (the one I went to with Lieselotte when I was in town last) for their Klaverjassen card game which happens to be this Saturday.  I'm sure the weekend will make me feel much better! :)

Weekend of Friends and Fun

The croche with arch move.

This may have been the best post-trip weekend I could have imagined.  On Friday, I spent 11-2:30 with Jessy and her 6 week old and her 2 year old.  They are such adorable little boys and it was so good to see her and catch up.  We took the oldest to the mall to let him play at the indoor play area while I held the sleeping baby, then we ate lunch at Harpers.  Though I must say, I got a whole new respect for people with children that close together. It sure makes things like eating out and going anywhere a logistical mess.  Especially when it's pouring rain.  I really don't know how she does it when no one is with her.  (Note to self: have children at least 3 years apart).

After that, I met a fairly new friend out for tea at Amalies.  And, I actually drank tea. English breakfast tea to be specific.  It was pretty good. :)  I love making new friends because there is so much to talk about that neither one knows.

Brian (teacher) trying to explain a complicated move.

From there I worked out and it felt so good after having not been to the gym in weeks that my 8 1/2 minute mile flew by in no time and I was barely out of breath.  That evening, my friend Brandon came over for dinner and we played Boggle and watched Soul Surfer with the family.  The movie is based on a true story about a girl who wanted to be a pro surfer and had her arm bitten off by a shark (she lived/surfed in Hawaii).  She went on to become a pro surfer and got first place a few years later.  The movie was surprisingly good and touching - with unbelievable scenery!

On Saturday morning I took another silk class and this time I mastered "the scorpion" - the move that caused me to fall on my head last time.  I also learned several other cool new moves and had a lot of time on the silk because only two of us were sharing one silk.  I really like the teacher on Saturdays - he's only a year older than me and very chill.  If I say "I really want to learn this today" then he's like "okay."  Today, of course, my muscles are screaming at me - but I consider it an unproductive day if I don't feel the effects of it the next day. lol

This would be the complicated move.

After that I went over to Nicole (the girl I tutor)'s house and took her out to lunch and shopping and then to see Crazy, Stupid, Love which was just delightful.  Not only was it funny, but Ryan Gosling is beautiful and I've decided that he could propose to me tomorrow and I would say yes.  I've also decided, I need to re-watch The Notebook for the 150th time (give or take). 

This morning, I saw a lot of friends at church who I hadn't seen in a while and we all ate at Witch, Wich afterward (which is a sandwich place that let's you choose your sandwich by marking everything you want on a paper bag and writing your name on it.  It then goes through the line of production and the sandwich is put in the bag at the end and your name is called out).  My friends and I chose to do Captain Planet names.  I was Fire.  We also had Earth, Wind, Water and Captain Planet himself.  (But he was, apparently, Heartless).  The guy who was calling out the names was tickled to death and actually called out the last one (Captain Planet) by saying "And with these powers combined, CAPTAIN PLANET!"  (He said this very loudly so the whole restaurant could hear). 

The scorpion - done successfully! (And close to the ground!)

Then I bought new running shoes (I figured I might as well since mine are getting a bit worn looking and they are on sale and tax free right now), saw my grandparents and soon will be trying out my new cleats with some Frisbee.  What a great weekend!

Ready for church wearing the shoes the girl I tutor loaned me. :)

New Beginnings

Today I bought a new (1 year old) laptop off of my grandfather which was a good thing considering mine took a turn for the worse today.  The screen on my old IBM will only stay on for about 20 seconds before going black.  This makes getting files off it difficult.  I planned to buy a new one this weekend since it's tax-free weekend, but I really don't need a BRAND brand new computer, and Grandpa hardly used his and had been thinking of selling it anyway. 

Though I have to say, I miss my old keyboard.  No, it is not special or fancy.  Yes, it is dirty.  Yes, the letters are chiefly illegible and the keys have grooves in them from my fingernails.  But it has character.  It has been with me through the best six years of my life.  It is a testament to thousands of hours of hard work, hundreds of papers, and page upon page of creative genius (or, you know, close to it).  It was with me in foreign countries and favorite classes.  It also fit well in my laptop case.  And yes, I'm waxing nostalgic over an inanimate object.  Sue me.

I do like the new one though and I'm sure I'll grow very fond of it.  For one, I can see the screen, which is a huge plus.  The screen is much bigger, which will be good for watching movies.  The hard drive space is about quadruple what my old one was, so maybe I can actually fit the majority of my music and photos on it.  (Well, realistically, probably not all the photos...but you know, a chunk. ;)). 

I also put my first pair of cleats on hold today at Omega Sports which I will buy in the next two days over the tax-free weekend.  I'm so excited - now I can be an Ultimate Frisbee master. ;)  But seriously, I plan to play a lot more once the weather cools a bit.  I can't help it - it's in my blood.  Like father like daughter.  (Because let's be real - we know Brett is never going to pick up a Frisbee...or ball...or bat....or anything else sports related).  He does fix my computer though (after much protest, whining and explanations of my stupidity).

So, it is a time of new beginnings.  Get ready computer: 10 grad school applications are about to be crafted on your shiny new keys.

One of Those Days

It has been go-go-go ever since I returned home from Utah.  I'm still waiting for the dust to settle so I can sit back, reflect, and realize what an amazing experience I had.  Though when it hits, it will probably hit more like a blow than like a caress.  While it was an amazing gain, it was also a loss - leaving amazing places, and amazing people who you may never see again.  Luckily, the gain is significantly more than the loss because I can always tell myself "You will go back," and "You will see x,y, and z again."

Back home, I have gotten together with several friends over amazing meals and long chats. Though yesterday was a little rough. 

I interviewed an artist in Matthews about her business and then went over to Matthews Elementary where my friend Lisa is about to start teaching 3rd grade.  I helped her and our other friend Christina set up her classroom before returning home and writing the story about the artist.  I was so excited for silk aerial class which was from 5-6:30 uptown in NoDa.  Unfortunately, I forgot to eat before class which meant that as the moves got more strenuous, I got more hungry and weak.

So, after doing a series of sweat-pouring, muscle-shaking moves, the teacher shows us a new one.  Meanwhile, there are four silks and four different levels in action all over the room - with one teacher.  There were 3 of us sharing our silk.  After she showed us The Scorpion (the name of the move) one girl tried and the teacher came back and helped her out - but the girl had gotten so tangled it was hard see how it looked anything like the move the teacher had shown us.  Then I tried and was closer, but still needed some help.  The third girl didn't even attempt it.  When I tried for my second time, the teacher was nowhere in sight and I was hanging upside-down getting a head-rush so I figured "I'll just do what I think I'm supposed to do."  Well, I figured wrong. 

Next thing I know, I'm flipping out of the silk and landing straight on my head on the mat (which was thin because we weren't doing stuff really high like the advanced girls).  I got a mat burn on the top left part of my forehead and cracked my entire neck and upper-back.  When I landed, I'm pretty sure I issued an "ow" or "whoa" or something pretty loudly.  And then there was the thunk of my body hitting the ground.  Either way, the entire room of about 15 people went dead silent.  The teacher came over and was all anxious and telling me not to move, but I told her I was fine - which I was.  Just a little shaken up, sore and red. 

After that, she made us switch moves.  But I plan to master that stupid scorpion on Saturday!  And ps - she wrote me an email today to ask how I was doing. lol  (I'm fine.  Just sore - but I think that's more from doing silk again after being out of it for 3 weeks).

Well then, I'm sitting in the parking lot trying to makeup over my mat burn before I have dinner with my friend Cleve, when all of a sudden, I fly toward my steering wheel.  I have no idea what just happened because my mirrors are facing toward me.  So I get out of my car, and sure enough, some girl in a Volvo just hit me as she tried to pull into the space next to me.  She is completely flustered and doesn't know what to do so I tell her to go ahead and park and we'll talk.  She does so, and she's shaking like a leaf and saying "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I just got my license."  No freaking kidding. 

Anyway, my car looked okay - she scraped along the back left corner and side of my car, but luckily on the CRV, it has a black bumper-like material that runs all along the bottom and it was just a bit scuffed.  I got her information and told her I'd call her if my dad thought it needed any work.  I tried to calm her down because she was so scared.  She goes to Chapel Hill, so I probably had a bit of a soft spot for her. 

By the time I met Cleve for dinner, I was practically passing out from hunger and exhaustion.  I devoured a pineapple milkshake and 2/3 of a burger before my stomach started yelling at me for overeating. 

I was super tired by the time I got home, but Mom really wanted to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I, so I didn't get to bed until 12:40. 

Tonight I'm so excited because I have my Bible study meeting with all the girls and I've missed them so much!  I'll also go see my grandparents who I've missed terribly. 

I find that it's difficult for me to have so many friends and loved ones because I can't half-ass any relationship.  If you're my friend/family, I WILL spend time with you either on the phone or in person.  I WILL be there for you if you need me.  I'm fiercely loyal - which is a difficult personality trait to have when you keep making more friends! lol  But, I love it.  I feel so blessed to have so much love in my life!