Dangerous Fall

A silk move from last weekend (not the night of the fall).

NOTE: the video embedded in here is just a random drop I do, it is not really dangerous and is not the one I fell on.

Last night was my first time (since age 2) that I was inside an emergency room.  But getting there is a long story, so let me start from the beginning.

On Sunday night I threw a dinner party at my house - I made chili, cornbread, brownies, rice and salad.  I ended up with 7 or 8 guys and one other girl.  lol  However, everyone pretty much knew one another, so it wasn't awkward.  We played some Wii Fitness and talked and generally had a very good time.  The guy I've gone on a couple dates with, Taylor, was also there.

About 9 p.m., a couchsurfer I'd agreed to host showed up.  He is 19, name is Tyler, and has recently returned from London after one year of college there.  He is originally from FL and wants to finish school in the states.
So anyway, Taylor and Tyler met and talked briefly and then everyone left except Tyler, as everyone else had to work in the morning.

On Monday, I worked from home and Tyler slept in and then played on his computer.  We met my girlfriend Jamie out for lunch at Mellow Mushroom and then came home and worked some more until it was time for me to go to my silk aerial class.  Tyler said he wanted to come along, and the class was from 6 to 7.  Taylor was also going to try to stop by and watch, but he got out of work too late to make it.

Right at 7 p.m., I tried a new drop called 'kamikaze.'  This was the same drop that I had seen a girl do around Thanksgiving when she fell and broke a vertebrae in her neck.  However, it was believed that she passed out in the air, and that is why she fell. But anyway, having witnessed that fall, I was hesitant about trying that move.  However, there was a very thick, fluffy pad under my silk and the floors at the climbing gym where I was taking class are also padded.

I was about 15 feet up, hanging upside down in the air.  I had the silk wrapped a certain way so that when I opened my legs into a straddle, I would drop about 5 feet.  I was supposed to keep holding onto the tail ends of the silk with my hands, and that would be what stopped me.  So, I finally got brave enough to open my legs, felt myself plummeting head down, and then - CRASH.  I landed on my neck.  (Not my head, exactly, because I curled my head under).  My body came down on top of my head and I essentially did a somersault.  I heard my whole neck crunch and pop, and I was in a lot of pain, but I was still moving.  Brian, the instructor, wouldn't let me sit up, but I was rolling around and moving my extremities in pain. 

Again, a not-so-dangerous silk move.

The people who worked at Inner Peaks (the rock climbing gym), came rushing over and one guy made me lay flat on my back and put his hands on both sides of my head so I couldn't move it.  I was so uncomfortable and felt sure that if they'd just let me move, it would feel better.  However, that was not allowed.  Brian (the teacher) kept holding my hand and talking to me and I kept saying "What did I do wrong?"  And he kept saying "We'll talk about that later, just worry about you."  Finally, Inner Peaks decided they were calling 911, whether I wanted them to or not.  I had Brian call my mom and he was very good about being incredibly calm to not make her more scared than she would be already.

Mom and Dad were on their way to Inner Peaks when the paramedics arrived and put a very uncomfortable, hard neck brace on me, then started strapping me to a board to put me on the stretcher.  They asked what hospital I wanted to go to, and I said, "Can we wait until my mom gets here?"  And they said yes, but then I realized it would be easier to have Mom and Dad meet us at Matthews Presbyterian because Inner Peaks is very hard to find.  Tyler called them and they agreed, but then after I was wheeled through the whole place like an idiot and put in the ambulance, they said they needed to take me uptown because I'd fallen from over 10 feet. So then Tyler called Mom and Dad back, who were already at Matthews Presby, and told them to meet us uptown.

Meanwhile, Taylor had texted me right before my fall and said they'd had a bomb threat at work.  I texted back, while waiting for the medics, that I had fallen, then someone took my phone.  I kept asking Brian what I did wrong with the drop, and he said it looked like I just let go.  What I think happened was that this drop is very similar to another drop we do, but in that drop, when you open your legs into straddle, you let go with your hands.  I think my muscle memory just took over and I let go when I was supposed to hold on. Oops.

Anyway, so I'm in the ambulance and I think, "I need to text Taylor again and tell him I'm sort of okay." (I mean, I wasn't paralyzed, so that's a start).  So I asked the paramedic who was with me to ask for my phone through the window and she came back and said, "Your friend is using it right now - he's on the phone with your boyfriend."  I said, "My boyfriend?" and she said "Do you have a boyfriend?" and I said, "Not that I know of!"  And the woman medic said, "Well I guess you do now." hahaha  Anyway, Tyler had called Taylor when reading my text from him and told him what was happening, and Taylor said he'd meet us at the hospital too.

Meanwhile, Brian, my teacher, was also going to the hospital, but apparently never got the  memo that I was being sent to the uptown one.  He said he was in the ER waiting room, but when Tyler went to look for him, he couldn't find him. We realized after everything that he was at the wrong hospital - I felt so bad since he'd been waiting for over an hour!

Only my mother would actually take a picture of me like this!

Anyway, so I'm waiting for the doctor to check me out and my neck is still in this crazy hard neck brace when Mom and Dad walk in.  After they come over and Mom freaks out a little and holds my hand, she finally calms down.  Dad and Tyler are really hungry, so they migrate to the cafeteria  Right after they left, I notice a very tall presence in the room, but I can't see who it is because all I have is peripheral vision since I can only look upward. The doctor was talking to me at the time I think, but anyway, when he was done, Taylor came over and held my hand and made me laugh - which hurt, but was good and distracting.  I was pretty pissed because they wouldn't let me have my water until after they did the CT scan.  My hands and feet were also freezing.  Then the doctor came and poked and prodded me and said he had a very good feeling that I was okay, but that they'd take me to get the scan soon.  When I got wheeled off, Taylor followed  my stretcher (on his gimpy ankle which he'd badly sprained on Friday when we went to the trampoline park to play dodgeball), which was good because it was kind of far to the radiology unit and all I could see was the ceiling, so it was good to have someone there talking to me. 

Finally, they wheel me back and suddenly I'm glad they didn't let me have my water because now I have to pee so badly and they won't let me move until they get the results back.  The nurse tells the doctor to rush things, which he does - when he came back, he said I was not broken or fractured!  They took the brace off me and, with considerable help, I sat up and mom helped me hobble to the bathroom.  Back in my room, it seemed like forever before they returned to take the shunt out of my arm (which they never used and has since left a nice bruise).  In the meantime, I pulled off all the little sticky things they'd stuck all over me. Finally they gave me the dismissal papers.

Oh great, let's get a close up.

As we walked down the hallway toward the garage, Taylor put his arm around me as I was rather woozy and couldn't really move my head, and he was rather limpy.  Mom started laughing behind us and said we made quite a pair.  At long last, my family loaded up into our car and drove back to Inner Peaks so Mom and Tyler could follow Dad and me home.  Taylor went home as it was already after 10 and he had work in the morning.

That night, Mom, Tyler and I ate dinner at 11 p.m.  I was so hungry, but it hurt to move and eat - my esophagus somehow got bruised (probably from the neck brace), so that's no fun.  I also have long red marks on the back of my neck from the brace and bruising.

Sleeping last night sucked, since every time I needed to move, I had to literally move my head with my hands because I couldn't actually lift it with my neck.  Today I was very tired and sore, but I think it may be worse tomorrow, as I'm starting to feel sore in other spots of my body including my back and arms.  I did, however, go to the chiropractor and get a gentle adjustment which was good.  I also went to see Grandma and Grandpa who were so relieved I was okay, and then I went to a dinner and the first part of a concert at my church.  I know, I know, probably not a good idea, but I'd already paid for it.  I did leave 2 hours early though and now I'm about to go ice my neck and watch a little TV before bed.



Oh, and we dropped Tyler off at a bus stop today as he was headed to Davidson to visit a friend there.  I tell you what though, that poor kid is probably  never going to CouchSurf again!

A Tribute to Mary Chapin Carpenter

Mary Chapin Carpenter has touched my soul ever since I first heard her songs, and I can't imagine a time when she will not be my favorite artist of all time.  Usually, I prefer songs that I can easily pick up the lyrics to and sing along full-throttle.  But Mary's songs are different.  Most of them are not really the sing-along type.  They may be the hum-along type, but the lyrics are long, different and not easily remembered (especially not when your MCC playlist is nearly 200 songs strong).  Yet, like a particularly poignant poem, book or movie, her songs strike a chord in my soul no matter how many times I hear them.  Sometimes they lift me up, sometimes they make me cry, and more often than not, they leave me in bitter-sweet reminiscence of days gone by and tentative hopes for days to come. Mary may be a year older than my mother, but I know in her heart, she's just a girl like me....

Girls Like Me - M.C.C.

Girls like me aren’t hard to find
We grow like roses on the vine
We wear our hearts on our sleeves
You probably know a girl like me.

We live alone and in our heads
We eat standing up or in our beds
Guilt and fear merge easily
In the quiet souls of girls like me

And loneliness is like a cold,
Common and no cure we’re told
We take to bed per chance to dream
In the blue light of the TV screen.

Girls like me like summer light
And cold beer on a summer night
And boys who aren’t afraid of what they see
Inside the eyes of girls like me

And hopefulness is like a drug
It makes a girl believe in love
And if somehow you love us back
You think there’s something wrong with that

Girls like me aren’t hard to trust
Your deepest secret’s safe with us
And when it’s time to set you free
You can always count on girls like me

It’s good to know a girl like me
You used to love a girl like me

Good Times with Friends = Lonely Dreams

I woke up feeling an overwhelming sense of loneliness.   It was a bizarre dream that put me there. 

Me, Vanessa, EA, Drew, Ben, Andi and little Isiah at Beauty and the Beast.

I was sitting in a class on the Chapel Hill campus (at my present or future age, not past), next to a friend I have from Charlotte currently.  The professor decided that everyone should leave with someone new, and I was paired with this freshman kid.  As we walked out, he started talking and was so obnoxious it was unbelievable.  Finally, I told him how to get to his dorm (after a derisive comment from him about "How would you know how to get there?" and my response "I've lived here for a long time Little Boy." (Ok, so I didn't really say the last two words, but I wanted to).  After he finally left, I walked down Stadium Drive (the road where my dorm was that I lived in for four years), and passed this huge dorm at the beginning of the street called Carmichael.  A little girl was advertising a dance that was going to be held in Carmichael and I asked who was in charge so I could talk to them.  She let me in the building and took me to her father who was working behind a desk.  He was a very intimidating man.  I asked if the Ballroom Club could perform at their dance, and he gave me this whole spiel about how they were changing the way they were doing dances and basically, they didn't want it to be a ballroom dance with lessons and such.  I said that he misunderstood me - I just wanted us to perform a number or two as guest performers, not teachers.  That way, we could attract more people to our club.  I wanted to run down to my dorm, Parker, to get something and prove to him who I was, when I looked at my keys. 

Just the gals in our 3D glasses - Vanessa, me, EA, Andi.

At first, I thought I'd lost my pass to get into my dorm, and then I was thinking about it, and I didn't remember getting one.  Then, suddenly, I realized - I no longer lived there.  As that realization kicked in, I thought I must now live off campus because I was not an undergrad anymore.  Then I thought, "OMG, so I must not be Ballroom Club president anymore - you have to be an undergrad."  THEN, I realized, holy crap - I don't go to school here anymore period!  I can't, because Chapel Hill doesn't have a graduate writing program.  And all of a sudden, I felt a huge sense of loneliness and abandonment come over me.

Vanessa, Andy, me, Ben and Jess bowling.

I know, it doesn't sound that bad, laughable almost, but was was really not a good feeling to wake up to.  I had to keep reminding myself over and over that no matter where I go, I will make new friends and I will be happy and involved.  Part of this dream surely came from the fact that my Charlotte friend group is not only large but growing in both number and closeness.  Last night, I went to a birthday party at my friend Angela's house and then to a game night at Elizabeth Anne's house.  There were many friends and acquaintances at her house and I had such a great time getting to know everyone better.  Charlotte ONE also started last Tuesday and I made a couple new friends there.  Tonight, a bunch of people are getting together at my friend Ben's house to watch a great Christian speaker streaming live from a nearby church (it would be too crowded to go in person). Last weekend, several of us went to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D after church, and later went bowling (I scored a 143 one game!). 

But I suppose all this friend time is making me realize how much I will miss them all when I'm gone.  I so hope that Lieselotte and I either end up at the same school or in close proximity.  How much better it would be to start a whole new life with someone who I know like the back of my hand.  The great thing about true friendship is, that no matter how far away you are, you never feel emotionally distanced.  But it's the day to day things - grabbing coffee, discussing lectures, going to the mall, watching a good movie - that I miss so much from our friendship.  I'm beyond excited that I will get to see here once in February (when I go to visit her in Raleigh), once in March (when she comes to visit me in Charlotte) and then again in May when I visit her in Amsterdam.  I'm so very proud of her - the reason she is back in the USA for Feb and March is because she got interviews for her PhD program at Berkeley, Duke, UNC and Washington Univ.  Go Lieselotte!

Yesterday I made my first ever Vegan Banana Bread - it actually turned out very well.  I think I will try it again soon - healthier by far than the normal kind, since there is no butter or milk or eggs. 

My First Travel Article!!!!

This was published in the Jan. 2012 edition of Boom! Magazine which is distributed in the Triangle area.  I know it is probably not readable uploaded as photos like this, but you may be able to see it a bit bigger by clicking on each "photo" of the pages.   

And a Happy New Year!

View from Tiff's parents house in West Jefferson

The couple days before New Years, I went up to West Jefferson where Tiffany's parents recently purchased a mountain house.  It is on the very top of one of the mountains and has a lovely view over many ranges.  In the distance you can see both Beech and Sugar Mountains, along with Grandfather mountain and Hawksbill.  It was very cold, and the first day we did naught but sit around, talk and play games.  Tiffany and I also spent a good deal of time with her brother's twin babies (a boy and a girl, Max and Zoe) who just turned two months old.  The first night and half day I was there, the house consisted of me, Tiffany, Mitch, Tiffany's parents, her brother and sister-in-law and their three babies, Tiffany's grandparents and 8 dogs!  Yes, it was a houseful, but luckily the mountain house is well-equipped for sleeping numerous visitors at once.  In fact, there is ample bedding for over 18 people.  During the first full day I was there, Tiffany's brother, sister-in-law and three babies and one dog left to be replaced with her dad's cousin and her three children and one of their spouses.  Long story short, there was never a lack of someone to talk to or mouths to feed!

With Jamie at Village Tavern on NYE.

Mrs. Caruso was so good to us and we had a constant supply of delicious home-made meals and treats.  Like my mother, she tends to be a food hoarder, but I suppose that is good when you have visitors in a constant stream.  During the second full day, we all went to Boone where we had lunch and checked out a few shops, before going to an overlook that Tiffany knew about.  From there, despite the frigid wind and air, it was a really great view of all of Boone and App State.

With my sweet Bethany on NYE.

It was nice seeing Tiffany's three cousins again, as I have met them off and on over the years.  We all played some games together and it was nice just catching up.  The youngest, Angie, watched a few episodes of Vampire Diaries with me (as she was the only other fan), and the oldest, Lauren, said I was welcome to visit her and her husband in Boston anytime. 

I drove home on New Year's Eve day and got ready for the party at Village Tavern that night.  This was my third year attending that party and the second year that my friend Jamie came as my date. ;)  However, many of my Charlotte ONE friends attend, so it is always a good crowd of friends wishing each other a happy new year.  I was particularly delighted to run into Kyle from Jacksonville, FL who I did not know would be in town.  He let Drew and me stay with him on our way down to Cape Coral last year (and the way back), and during our stay Kyle and I became friends.  It was very nice to see him again and hear that he will be moving back to Charlotte in June (though I will probably be leaving Charlotte in August).

With Lesley and Drew on NYE.

In the spirit of Auld Lang Syne, I have decided to return to Europe in May.  It is something I have wanted to do pretty much ever since I left in June of 2009.  I truly cannot believe it will have been almost a full three years by the time I return. In many ways, the experience feels like it was just yesterday - in others, a lifetime ago.  After much thought and consideration, I decided May would be the best month for many reasons:
1) prices are far too high over the summer, as flights and train tickets skyrocket in starting in June
2) It will be near the end of Lieselotte's time in Amsterdam so not only will I have a place to stay with her, but she will be done with school and able to travel with me (hopefully)
3) Lieselotte will be here in the states for Feb through mid-March, so it would be pointless to go then
4) Going in may will give me four months to save up, then two full months of income upon my return before leaving for grad school
5) It will be after I have my grad school decisions, and therefore those will not weigh on my mind while away
6) It will be my last opportunity to go during off-peak season before I turn 26, at which point I will no longer qualify for youth discounts
7) It will be the last time I can go before I am living on a meager grad school stipend and cannot afford to travel, much less eat ;)  (But let's be honest, if it were down to the two, I'd probably choose starvation lol).
8) If I don't go now, I may never get to see Sylvia again.  (She's a friend's grandmother who I visited frequently in Oxford while I was living in London. She is now 95 and apparently slowing down quite a bit.)
9) It will be one of the last times I can go while Carmen and Enrique are still in school and therefore not completely occupied with jobs as lawyers.
10) I MISS IT

Haha, okay, so no one else probably cared to read my diatribe, but writing it all out made me feel better about the decision to dip into my bank account for around $2,000.  I just bought my flight ticket - I will depart the night of April 30 and return on May 30. Yay!

On a different note, I got my first stitches today.  I had this weird bump on my leg that itched and the doctor said it wasn't dangerous, but I told him I wanted it removed anyway.  So, they numbed me up and sliced me and stitched me.  It was the bizarrest thing because I knew he was cutting me and sewing on me, but I couldn't feel a thing!  The downside is that these heavy-duty stitches have to be in here for two weeks, and I can't work out again until Monday.  The doctor gave me a long lecture before he agreed to do the surgery about how other patients had ripped their stitches apart by doing things like squatting down or exercising.  I think he knew I am pretty athletic because I was telling him about all the trails I hiked while in Utah (several of which he'd recommended to me).  Anyway, I agreed to take it easy.  *sighs*  As long as I can do silks on Monday evening!

I guess there isn't too much else to report as of now.  (As though this hasn't been long enough).