Musings from a Married Woman

So it's September, and I've been married three months.  And my husband and I both have new jobs and life is flying by at the speed of light and I'm a terrible blogger.  Point in case: I haven't written on this thing since April.  I suppose I'm too busy living life to reflect on it?  Perhaps.  It is seriously insane how fast time goes - I feel like I'm going to wake up tomorrow and be fifty! How come time didn't go this quickly in those long years of middle and high school, where all I wanted to do was get to college?

Sometimes I'm thankful for the time going by quickly.  Like on work days.  Now that I'm working at Bank of America as a contractor, as opposed to at CBCC where I barely had time to eat, time at work sometimes lags.  The fact that I'm not busy 100% of the time has come as something of a shock, but apparently, this is normal??  In many ways, I'm much happier.  I have a manager who doesn't really care where I'm working from (thus I work from home every Friday) and no crazy HR women to tell me my skirt is .5 inches too short or chastise me for wearing a warm hat when it's snowing outside.  I love the freedom of corporate life - people are treated like adults.  Insane! What I'm doing isn't that fascinating - a lot of writing and editing around annual enrollment for bank employees.  Needless to say, I now know an incredible amount about benefits - which has actually come in quite handy when Matt and I had to enroll in a healthcare plan through Red Ventures, his new workplace.  I also have the opportunity to take nice walks outside in Uptown Charlotte, which I never could have done at CBCC for fear of being mugged.  lol  Finally, with other friends working uptown as well, it's nice to have lunch companions upon occasion.

Matt, so far, is having a rough start at his new job.  Red Ventures, while a very cool and luxurious working environment (they have an indoor basket ball court, bowling alley, gym and more), has proven to be a bit of a let down in terms of actual job description.  Upon being hired, he was told he'd be helping RV expand their mobile services - instead, he was placed on a team that seems very set in it's ways, will not listen to his mobile expertise, and had no knowledge of him before he was thrust upon them.  His manager is a younger female who feels threatened by his experience, and sees his more serious work personality as being evidence of a "bad and insubordinate" attitude.  However, he has made many friends there and hopes to be able to switch teams in the near future, which I believe will greatly increase his work happiness.

Outside of work, Matt and I have been traveling a good bit lately.  We went to Jonas Ridge to my grandparents' mountain house with another couple for a really wonderful weekend about a month ago.  This past weekend, being Labor Day, we took a trip to Asheville where we went to the Biltmore and went on a 3.5 hours zip-lining adventure as Matt's belated birthday present.  It was a blast, but we've decided Asheville isn't really our scene.  Apart from hippies, the city seemed full of idle wandering weirdos dressed in all manner of offensive and scandalizing dress, clearly high as kites and in no way adding to the betterment of society.

This coming weekend we will be going to Chapel Hill and Raleigh for my friend Maggie's wedding.  We'll see Krystle, my old roommate, as well as Mitchell, a friend from high school who recently moved to Raleigh.  On Sunday, I've also arranged to go and visit Professor Gless' wife, Frieda (my old study abroad professor) and their little girl, now over a year old.  I'm sure it will be very difficult to see them in that house, knowing Professor Gless won't be coming through the door with a tray of tea.  How lonely they must feel without him.  If his brief presence in my life could have left such an impact, I can only imagine what it must be like for the wife he left behind and the daughter he never knew.

On to happier musings, married life is great so far.  It's so very nice to know that at the end of a long day, there is someone there to love you and be there for you - and to watch ridiculous shows on Hulu with you.  We have recently discovered a show called "Horrible Histories" which is a British comedy show featuring brief skits relaying historical, but horrible, facts from various time-periods throughout history. Some common segments include "Terrible Tudors," "Vicious Vikings" and "Rotten Romans."  A bit Monty Python-esque in it's humor, we both love it - and it's nice to spend most evenings laughing together.

As far as the wedding went - well, it was a dream.  An absolute dream.  As my dad said, "This must be the most beautiful wedding on a shoestring budget anyone ever had."  The day was lovely with blue skies and white fluffy clouds - and a light breeze.  The shade from the giant pecan trees offered a cool setting for the ceremony, and no one seemed overly warm - even me in my giant gown.  My bridesmaids were absolutely gorgeous in their baby blue dresses, the hydrangeas we all carried were perfectly elegant, the first dance (a waltz) went wonderfully, even though Matt forgot the order he had decided upon, we just made it up as we went, and it was splendid.  The food was really outstanding - and I owe a huge thanks to Lynn, my old colleague, for doing such a spectacular job of it for only $10 a head.  No one would've known it was Zaxby's food - and I suppose most of it was not, as she catered the menu specifically to what I requested.

I danced my heart out at the reception, and the huge front porch severed as a wonderfully ample dance floor.  In the end, I couldn't have been happier with the way it turned out.  What a wonderful day to remember for the rest of our lives.

And the honeymoon in Prince Edward Island?  What can I say?  It was the fulfillment of a lifelong dream.  It was every bit as beautiful as the Anne of Green Gables movies made it out to be, and even more lush and green than I expected.  It was a quiet sanctuary with food beyond compare (all being grown/raised on the island); spectacular views from lighthouses, bluffs and red dirt roads; and the friendliest people you will ever meet.  Seriously, if it wasn't so cold in the winter, we may seriously consider moving to Canada.  There is something to be said for a people who are universally so kind.  When I left my brand new iphone in a restaurant, I had no fear two hours later when I realized it was gone.  I knew it would be there.  And sure enough, it was in the safekeeping of the genial waitress who said, "I knew you'd be back for it!"

Highlights were: eating in the Charlottetown culinary arts school, hiking the Greenwich boardwalk in the PEI National Park, watching the sunset from the red cliff beach of Cavendish, seeing the Anne of Green Gables spots and meeting some of the author's descendants, eating hand-made chocolate in Victoria-by-the-Sea, staying in the Westpoint Lighthouse with a view over the red beach, finding sea glass, taking a carriage ride to a private beach, watching the Anne & Gilbert musical....and more.

We also took a detour on our way back to Halifax before coming home to see the Bay of Fundy (which has the largest tidal change in the world).  We were able to walk on the ocean floor during low tide, about 50 feet below where the water would be only a few hours later.  It was really incredible and a very unique experience.

To sum up the several months since last I wrote: I'm very happy.  What can I say?  Married life must suit me. :)

We're married!

With my bridesmaids

Groomsmen (aka. boy band)

Victoria-by-the-Sea

Boardwalk at Greenwich, PEI National Park

Sunset on the Cavendish cliffs

One of the 65 lighthouses.

The real Anne of Green Gables house 

Westpoint Lighthouse

Near Westpoint Lighthouse

Bay of Fundy - on the ocean floor

Goodbye to Gilbert

This past weekend, someone I felt like I knew personally most of my life died.  Jonathan Crombie (aka Gilbert Blythe) - my first crush - passed away from a brain aneurism at only 48 years old.

Most of you know my obsession with Anne of Green Gables - after all, I'm going to Prince Edward Island for my honeymoon.  I decided at age 5 that I was going to P.E.I. on that most romantic of adventures to honor the most romantic of movies - but only once I found my own, personal Gilbert.  I wasn't sure it was possible.  After all, who could live up to that dashing boy with his laughing eyes and his loving gazes?  Someone who could tease, challenge, respect and care in equal measure?

But at long last, I have found my Gilbert.  The man that could finally hold a candle to the fictional character I've compared every man to my entire life.  And so this summer, I am going to take the trip I've been dreaming of for 22 years.  I want to take Matt on a stroll down Lovers' Lane, pick apples in the orchards, walk the red beaches, and hold hands on the bridge of Barry's Pond. 

Anne of Green Gables (and it's squeal, Anne of Avonlea) aren't romantic movies in the common sense.  The Anne movies are really just a coming-of-age story.  Yet the unassuming, pure, quiet beauty - and all those passionate gazes - make them most romantic series of all time (in my humble, completely unbiased opinion).

I fell in love with Anne, Gilbert, Diana and all the other characters around age 4 when my grandmother introduced me to the VHS movie sets (each movie was 2 tapes).  I could sit enraptured for the first 4 hours, then return the next day and watch the next 4 hours.  From those earliest days, when I didn't even understand half the words they used (like "tresses" - which means "hair"), I understood a deep-rooted kindred spirit in Anne.

My mother says she's not sure if I love those movies so much because I am so much like Anne, or if I'm so much like Anne because I love the movies so much.  I don't really know either.  But there is something incredibly good about a movie that can capture the heart of a 4-year-old, and remain her favorite movie at age 28.  A movie that you put on in your parents living room and they groan "again??" but by the end, everyone is sitting there, enraptured by the world it has created, tears rolling down their faces.

And it was in this way that I came to love Anne like a twin sister, and Gilbert as the representation of great love.

This past weekend was all about wedding planning - getting details finalized, including the trip to P.E.I.  When I heard that Jonathan Crombie had died, it was such a strange feeling. Almost like the man of my childhood was passing away, as the man of my future came to be.

Granted, the character that Jonathan portrayed so perfectly, will never die.  He will live on in the hearts of girls for generations to come - he will light up screens across the world with his charming smile.  He will never be forgotten - and in that way, Jonathan will never be forgotten.  I suppose that's one plus of being an actor - when you play a memorable character, you will live on forever.

I have a feeling this summer, when we are in Avonlea on Prince Edward Island, that there will be tributes to Jonathan Crombie's loss.  But there will be celebrations of his life as well.  For me, I will meet him again and again - as he was in his 20s - each and every time I re-watch those movies (and recite all the lines in my head). I pray that my future daughter will know him as well, and her daughter, as they watch those movies and fall in love with that world as I did.

It's Just Me

So I know I haven't written in forever - but I guess that's what happens when you're planning for a wedding, working your butt off, spending time with family, playing multiple sports, attending pre-marital counseling and a litany of other such endeavors.  Then of course there's trying to figure out how to win the lottery and travel the world the rest of your life (okay, so maybe that's more of a pipe dream than something I'm actually working on - especially since I've never bought a lottery ticket a day in my life).  But anyway, needless to say, I'm SO FREAKING BUSY.

I'm really excited about this wedding for many reasons, but I have to say, being done with the planning and prep is definitely going to be a perk.

However, I wanted to share something that, while somewhat sophomoric, was pretty accurate in its description of people like me - the outgoing introvert (or as I like to call it, the under cover introvert).  So, if you care you read, enjoy!

1. When we see you after a long day, we might be all irritable and not want to talk 

It has nothing to do with you. Outgoing introverts, though still introverts at their core, often need to recharge after a large use of social energy. After a long day of dealing with people, our social batteries are drained and we need to unwind and recover, usually alone. 

2. We’re charming creatures and can be the life of the party, but...

You’ll be surprised how much we actually live in our heads. People often confuse us for extroverts, but we're too introspective and over-think too much to be one.

3. If we like you, we really like you. 

We don’t waste our time with people we’re not completely crazy about. If we agreed to go on a date with you, we like you. Take it as a huge compliment.

4. We have times when we’re weird with our phones. 

Some days we can talk for hours, but sometimes we’re not so good at replying and talking on the phone. Don’t take it personally -  we screen our phone calls, even from our closest friends. Outgoing introverts sometimes hate the phone because it’s all, like, intrusive and tears our minds away from whatever we’re deeply focusing on (and we are always deeply focusing on something). Our mind doesn't change direction easily. Listening to one thing and seeing something else is a lot of sensory input piled on top of everything that's already going on in our heads.

5. But don’t worry, in person we’ll listen to you for hours.

We have spectrums of introversion, so we’re good listeners. We’ll always be naturally in tune with how you’re feeling, so we’ll be able to see through any front you put up and make you jump into the deep end.

6. We need to dip our foot in the pool first. 

We need time to warm up, so, like, chill. We tend not to outwardly express our feelings and spill our whole life story in the first hour of meeting you. Or the first year.

7. Our energy level depends on our environment.

Yes, we can get annoyed easily. If we vibe with the crowd, we can get our energy from human interactions. But if we don’t, we’ll start to get really introspective and reflective, and tend to withdraw into ourselves. It’s kinda like a hit or miss. We’re very selectively social. But it’s not because we dislike people - it's actually the opposite. We dislike the barriers like small talk (which often comes with going out) creates between people, and try to avoid it at all costs.

8. We kinda hate the typical first date. 

Maybe it’s 'cause we hate small talk or something. Over-thinking is like a part of us so at times we enjoy a break from our heads. Be willing to go somewhere authentic where we won’t have to awkwardly sit across from each other asking the typical "get to know you" questions.

9. You'll think we are flirty with everyone. 

Okay here's the thing, when we inevitably have to interact with people, we make it seem like there’s nothing in the world we'd rather be doing. It's 'cause we're, like, overly sensitive and so we go out of our way to make other people feel comfortable and happy. We're intuitive and outgoing at the same time.

10. We can see through bullshit.

So don't try to deceive us. We’re kinda like a human lie detector. We will always find out the truth (muhahaha)... just kidding. But for real, we often have a keen eye for detail, noticing things that may escape others around us. 

Research has found that introverts pay more attention to detail and exhibit increased brain activity when processing visual information. A study shows that the brain of an introvert weighs internal cues more strongly than external motivational and reward cues. Since outgoing introverts are a unique blend of both an extrovert and introvert, we rely on our own internal instincts and logic to make decisions and form beliefs.