For Someone Who Hates Good-Byes, I Sure Say a Lot of Them

Sam leaving for the last 1,000 miles of his trip.

CouchSurfing has changed my life.  I love it for so many reasons: meeting new people, learning about new cultures, having free places to stay, feeling like you're connected to the entire world on a personal level.  There is only one downside to CS - saying a lot of goodbyes. 

Some people don't even say goodbyes.  They just say "I hate them, so I don't do them."  For me, that's not the case.  On the outside, I'm great at goodbyes.  On the inside, it depends on the type of goodbye.  I always want the visit to be longer - whether someone is visiting for a couple hours or a couple days.  When they get up and stretch in the way that people do when they are about to leave, my heart drops just a little. (Or when I know I have to go but don't want to).  But, if I know I will see them again, it's okay.  There is only a tiny twinge of sadness when someone who lives in town leaves.  When it is someone who lives out of town but whom I know I'll see again, there is a sadness at the time we'll spend apart, but a joy in knowing we will see each other again. 

Playing "Just Dance" on the Wii w/Marc, Phillip and Mom.

The problem with CouchSurfing is that it is unlikely you will see each other again.  I mean, maybe, in many, many years when you finally make good on that promise to make it back to see them in Europe or vice-versa, but in general, there's just no way you can see everyone you stayed with or who stayed with you again.  Especially for someone like me who has met dozens upon dozens of CSers.  Sometimes, that's not so very hard.  I've liked all my CouchSurfers and CouchSurfing hosts, but I didn't feel like I really connected with all of them.  Some of them were just nice strangers who let me stay.  They had their own lives, I had mine.  But sometimes there are those that you have such a great time with, that you share a special connection with, and when you leave or they leave you, it pretty much sucks. 

With the Germans in an art installation in uptown.

There are a few instances that stand out in my mind.  1) Agrinio, Greece where I stayed with Anna Tomara.  She and I were like long-lost sisters and I felt completely at home in her family.  We talk some on the computer, but who knows how long it will be before one of us has the time and money to make it that far again.  2) Caroline in Dresden, Germany.  While I only stayed there for one or two nights, she was so sweet and invested in my life that it was hard to leave.  3) Katarina in Munich whose light and vibrant personality along with her adorable little dog made me want to adopt them both. lol  4) Aleks in Wurtzburg, Germany, who technically was not a CSer, but whom I met in a hostel there and who hung out with me for two days singing songs from famous musicals and generally entertaining me to no end.

Recently, I've had the experience of saying good-bye to people visiting me.  Sam, who I CSed with in Galveston, TX came to visit on his cross-country bike trip.  It was so exciting to host someone who had hosted me, and this time, goodbye wasn't as hard because in my mind, if I'd already seen him within a year of the first time, I'll probably see him again in future. 

The Labor Day BBQ party.

On Sunday and Monday nights, I hosted 4 German guys from Dresden who are doing an east coast USA tour - and let me just say, they completely made my weekend!  They willingly and joyously played Just Dance with me on the Wii with absolutely no embarrassment.  They thought it was hysterical to dance to "It's Raining Men" and "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go."  We then played Taboo which they loved despite not knowing many of the words.  Both these activities left me rolling in laughter, and laughter is very good for the soul.  They next day they insisted we go to the Labor Day Parade in Charlotte, which I didn't even know existed, and despite it's complete lameness, I enjoyed it because they were so excited and energetic about the whole thing.  That evening we went to a Labor Day cookout at my friend Fabio's house and between Brazilian Fabio, me and the Germans, we had an impromptu dance party with everyone present which, again, left me in fits of joyous laughter.  Back at my house that night, we stayed up late talking, dancing and laughing our butts off.  I really can't think of a better weekend - which is why it was so difficult to say goodbye on Tuesday morning, knowing I will probably never see them again.

So, I just have to tell myself, yes I  WILL see them again (even if practicality says otherwise) and give myself yet another reason to return to Europe.

Dancing at the BBQ party.

On a sad note, I recently went to go see one of my old colleagues from the Observer in hospice. He was really good to me, taught me a lot, played "bad cop" when I got crazy callers, and stood up for me in every situation.  This is the worst kind of goodbye.

All these goodbyes have also been making me think of my best friends and how every single one of them lives far away.  My college roommate, Casey, is in Seattle and notoriously bad at long-distance communication.  Lieselotte is in Holland and though we do get to talk on Skype, it means that right when something happens I can't call and tell her about it - I have to wait until we are both online.  My cousin Michael is in Florida, and with his new girlfriend, has much less time than he used to and has been increasingly hard to get a hold of.  My oldest friend Tiffany is in Asheville, which, yes, is only 2.5 hrs away, but she and I both travel a lot which makes getting together somewhat challenging.  However, I will be going up there later in the month to help her pick out a wedding venue!  She's getting married - probably spring of 2013 - and I'm going to be the Maid of Honor.  I'm so, so excited and happy for her! :)

So, in conclusion, a global world is great for traveling and meeting amazing people, but it kind of sucks as far as having people you know and love nearby.   People are just constantly on the move, which is difficult for close relationships.