Tribute to a Great Man

Today, the world is losing one of the greatest men I have ever known. The keys look blurry through my tear-filled eyes as I write this tribute, but there is no other way I can think to honor my mentor and esteemed professor, Dr. Darryl Gless.

Dr. Gless came from a small town in Nebraska, and was the first in his family to go to college. He ended up winning the Rhodes Scholarship and was in the same class with Bill Clinton.  He attained his masters at Oxford and his Ph.D. at Princeton.  He wrote books and essays and won many awards.  He’s a respected scholar on the works of Spencer and Shakespeare – but it was his place in the classroom that won so many hearts and minds.

It was my first semester of senior year at UNC-Chapel Hill when I met Professor Gless.  The class was “Shakespeare” and Gless had a reputation for being a difficult teacher. But from my first class, I knew he would be one of the biggest influences on my college life.  As it turns out, he was also one of the biggest influences on my adult life. 

Darryl (as he has been encouraging me to call him for the past several years) opened up the word of Shakespeare like the unveiling of Russian nesting dolls.  Each layer was pulled back to reveal something even more intricate and astounding waiting to be discovered within.  I didn’t just learn Shakespeare – I learned how to decipher hidden meaning, I learned about the history and politics of 16^th century Europe, and where the foundation for our current language originated.  I was challenged to see the myriad ways that Shakespeare’s writing influenced not just literature to come, but culture, art and politics.  It made me realize the outstanding mark that simple written words can have on the world – not just for a lifetime, but multiple lifetimes.  

It’s hard to explain exactly how it happened, but Darryl broadened my horizons and, simultaneously, my desires for my own existence.  It was at his prompting that I applied for an honors study abroad program in London, and jumped through many obstacles to get there.  When I decided to apply for a scholarship that would allow me to spend three additional months traveling around Europe and learning about history and culture, he was my biggest cheerleader – writing me recommendations and expressing total confidence in my achievement.

I was accepted into the London Honors Program, and awarded the travel scholarship.  While I was gone, I kept a regular blog.  Despite grading papers and writing books of his own, not to mention the endless reading that an English professor is always obliged to do, Darryl kept up with my blog.  Upon my return, he mentioned several things he’d read from my trip, laughing with me over the funny incidents, and talking seriously about those more disturbing moments. 

Every few months, I went back to visit my old stomping grounds, and Darryl and I would sit together in his garden and talk about everything: life, literature, travel, jobs, friends, family and the future.  I loved our talks.  He was far and away the smartest person I have ever had the privilege of speaking to – much less calling a friend – yet he never made me (or any other student) feel less-than.  He was humble and kind, witty and fascinating.  

It is no wonder that he earned a Tanner Award for Excellence in Undergraduate Teaching.  (Of course, I only know this from reading about it online – he would never have bragged about such a thing).  When asked about the award, he apparently said, “That award intensified my already deep commitment to enabling all my students to think imaginatively, to question, to value ideas and language, and to speak and write well.”  

I am confident that Darryl needed no award to be the mentor and teacher that he was to hundreds of students over three decades at Carolina.  He made every student feel worthwhile, understood and appreciated for who they were.  Personally, he encouraged me to step outside the girl that everyone assumed I’d become, and look deeper.  

If I hadn’t happened to be assigned to his class, I never would have gone on that study abroad trip.  I may not have won the travel scholarship, and I certainly would not be where I am today.  Most sadly, I would not have had the opportunity to get to know such a brilliant mind, and kind-hearted person.

Over the last year and a half, Darryl has battled myelodysplastic syndrome – a disease that renders the bone marrow incompetent.  This disease caused him to need continual platelet and red cell transfusions, but the doctors said there was only one way to possibly be cured – a bone marrow transplant.  Darryl didn’t want to undergo such a risky surgery, but his sweet wife, Frieda (who is only in her 30s), asked him to consider it for the sake of their unborn child.  

Frieda is the head of the honors study abroad programs at Carolina, and, consequently, I got to know her during my London trip.  Like Darryl, she is very kind, very smart and incredibly positive.  They got married shortly before Darryl was diagnosed with this terrible disease, and both remained ever-positive despite setback after setback. 

Given Darryl’s exercise regime and strong support system, the doctors believed he may be able to pull through a bone marrow transplant. Either way, Frieda and Darryl decided they would try to have a baby.  It would be a first for both of them.  Frieda is now 7.5 months pregnant with their daughter, Elena (Leni) Stefanie Gless. 

A perfect match was found for Darryl’s bone marrow transplant, and the outlook was good at first.  However, after a couple weeks, the doctors realized the marrow did not take.  In preparation for a second infusion, Darryl contracted an infection.  The doctors worked tirelessly to get it under control, but as of last night, Darryl was going into full lung and kidney failure.  Frieda, who is keeping all his loved ones updated via CaringBridge, let us know that life support was removed, and they were keeping him comfortable with morphine. 

He is expected to pass away today.  Frieda is with him, holding his hand and talking to him about all the good times they had together. 

As devastated as I am at this loss, I cannot imagine the grief and pain that she is experiencing right now.  My heart breaks for her and for all the hundreds of people who will be grieved by this loss.  I also mourn those students who will never have the opportunity to learn from this great teacher.

Goodbye, Professor Gless.  You will be greatly missed, and never forgotten.

March Madness

It has been an exceedingly long time since I updated this blog. Sometimes I wonder if it is even still worth it, but I suppose one day I’ll be glad to have this documentation to look back on and remember thing that I currently think I’ll never forget, but seeing the elders in my family, I’m sure I will.

Michael, Lauren, Matt, Aaron - St. Pete Pier

Matt and I had a wonderful vacation in Florida for my birthday – though it was more like a weekend exercise regimen than a vacation. Lol First we drove down to Hilton Head Island and stayed with my old friend Chrissy and her fiancé Eric.  We have been friends since we were about 3 or 4 years old, and while we’ve definitely had our differences and have very different personalities, it’s always good to get together.   She and Eric made Matt & me a wonderful quesadilla dinner and got us hooked on our new favorite show – New Girl.  

Beautiful tree in St. Pete

The next day, we had lunch on the Island with Linda (Chrissy’s mom), and then headed down to Orlando.  I wanted to spend some time on the beach, but it was drizzly and cold.  When we got to Orlando we went out to dinner with one of Matt’s good friends Aaron, and stayed with him that night.

The next day, the three of us drove down to St. Petersburg and hung out with my cousin Michael all day.  We walked all around downtown St. Pete and it was truly gorgeous weather.  In fact, we all got a little sunburnt. It was so great getting to spend the actual day of my birthday with flanked by three awesome men ;) 

Michael and me at the outdoor market in St. Pete

Matt and I at Raglan Road for dinner on my bday.

Aaron, Matt & I drove back to Orlando that evening and had my birthday dinner at Downtown Disney’s Raglan Road – an Irish restaurant with live Celtic dancing. We had great seats and the food was DELICIOUS. We had baby back ribs to start and I had a chicken pot pie for my main dish.  YUM!  

Celtic dancers at Raglan Road.

That night, as Matt & I walked across the street from Downtown Disney to our hotel (Wyndham Lake Buena Vista), my lower back really started to hurt.  I didn’t know why.  

The next morning, it felt okay, and we left to meet Michael and his girlfriend Amy at EPCOT. We all met up about 9:30 a.m. and were able to go on almost everything, and see most of the countries.  Matt and I both liked Amy a lot, so we’re hoping it works out for her and Michael.  For dinner that night, Matt and I ate in France and our waiter was from Paris and it was so authentic and delicious.  I had salmon and at the end, they brought out an ice-cream filled madeleine and sang Happy Birthday in French.  It was so much fun and really made me miss my time in France. 

The four of us met up after dinner for a little bit longer, then they went to watch the fireworks while Matt & I rode Test Track and then headed over to Magic Kingdom.  

By this point, my back was really hurting, but I pushed through the pain (and took Advil).  We rode quite a few things at Magic Kingdom which was really beautiful and not very crowded so late at night.  We were there from about 10:30 pm – 1 am.  I got to be in a ‘play’ with Belle from Beauty and the Beast as part of a new interactive experience called “Belle’s Enchanted Cottage” or something like that.  I got my photo with her and I was just like a 5 year old again.

Amy and Michael at Epcot

We saw the fireworks as we walked onto Thunder Mountain Railroad and we took a rest as we sat in the Carousel of Progress.  It was really the most perfect day.  However, a 16 hour day at Disney after walking around St. Pete the day before is apparently not good for my back when I’m more used to sitting in an office all day. My back was killing me that night.

The next morning, there was no denying that I’d done something to my lower back.  We slept in, but the rest still didn’t seem to make much difference.  First we went to Magic Kingdom and had lunch at the Beast’s Castle in the new Fantasyland.  We did a couple other rides thereafter, but it was so crazy and chaotic at MK during the day that we left and went to MGM.  After seeing the Muppets 3D movie, watching the Lights, Camera, Action Stunt Show and going on the Backlot Tour, I could barely walk.  Matt helped me limp my way over to the first aid area and they gave me an icepack and I laid down for a while.  We then got me a wheelchair and Matt pushed me around for another couple hours before we left.  We did get really good seats for Fantasmic (the show there) and on the Great Movie Ride. 

The next morning we began the long drive back to Charlotte, in which I laid the seat back and nodded off a good part of the time.  Overall, it was a really fun trip and I just loved being there – and Matt was SUCH a good sport and took such good care of me.  I look forward to going again next year.

in "France"

at MK

The weekend after Disney, Matt and I drove to Chapel Hill and stayed a night with my old roommate Krystle. We got some dinner in Chapel Hill and watched the new Veronica Mars movie and just caught up for a while.  

with Belle

On Saturday, I showed Matt all around Chapel Hill and then we went and met up with Professor Gless at his home.  His meylodisplastic syndrome has not been responding to any treatments, and they’ve decided his only option is a bone marrow transplant.  He did not want to do that, given all the risks, but they found him a perfect donor and he’s decided to go through with it – primarily because his wife, Frieda, is pregnant.  I’m so very excited for him.  He’s a lot older than Frieda, but she’s always wanted a baby and he’s never had one before, so he’d really like to be around to watch his little girl grow.  I pray that everything will work out and that the transplant will change his life for the better.  I know he’d be a great dad. 

Speaking of babies, I’m helping through Tiffany’s baby shower this weekend, and then I am attending two others within the next month.  I also just found out that two ladies in my lifegroup are also pregnant and are due in Sept and October.  Last year I went to five weddings – this year, it’ll be at least five baby showers! 

I’m so excited for all my friends and I can’t wait to spend time with these precious little ones. 

On a sad note, my Uncle Reid died this past weekend.  He had COMPD and diabetes and was on O2 for a while now, but no one expected such a quick passing.  His three children and trying to cope, but poor Adam is only 15 years old.  Reid’s oldest son, Reid III, will assume custody of Adam and have Brandon start working in his shop.  We all hope the new situation will work out.  It’s been very hard on Grandma & Grandpa, but they take comfort in the fact that he is no longer suffering.  Mom, who was probably the closest person to Uncle Reid, also took it quite hard.  Happily, Uncle Bob, Mom, Dad & I all talked on the phone with him the night before he died.  

in my wheelchair at MGM

So, those are the big highlights – and per usual, this is way too long for a blog.  Oh well.    

Disney Kind of Wonderful

I suppose that I need to stop apologizing for my continual periods of blog writing absenteeism.  Simply put, it seems that life is not slowing down, nor shall it.  Therefore, I’m lucky to get one blog a month churned out in the midst of everything else…so, I guess I should just be thankful that I can do that much.

I had a great New Year’s Eve with my friend Zach in town.  We went to the same party I go to each year and the next day we drove up to Crowder’s Mountain to go hiking (the weather was gorgeous).  Unfortunately, I got a speeding ticket on the way.  The roads were so clear and I wasn’t paying attention.  So, now I’m going to have to go fight it in court on Feb. 13…let’s hope they show mercy on me!

Grandma and Grandpa Carraway had their 70^th wedding anniversary party Jan. 4 with a ton of the family coming in town to celebrate.  They had 3 of 4 children, 8 of 9 grandchildren, and 5 of 8 great-grandchildren present, as well several spouses and cousin Mary-Ellen.  We had dinner at the Cypress clubhouse which was delicious and took many family photos.  For their main presents, I gave them a canvas I had made of their colorized wedding photo and the kids chipped in to give them professional photos of all the grandchildren together.  Brandon, unfortunately, was not able to make it, but I hope to be able to Photoshop him into the main photo at some point.

It was great to see all the great-grandkids!  They are growing like weeds.  Little Millie is as precious as ever – even though she had a cold.  I so wish they all lived closer!

 In the beginning of January I also decided to join a dating website.  Despite meeting so many people every day and week of my life, it is often hard to find someone with the same ideals and personality as me.  I was very hesitant about the idea, but after many suggestions by friends and family, I decided to take the plunge – and I have to say I’m glad I did!  After only about a week or two on the site, I had four dates set up.  While all were nice guys, one particularly stood out with his astonishingly similar personality and upbringing.  We have now been dating for almost three weeks.

Matt grew up in Indiana and went to Purdue University.  After college, he worked for ESPN in Connecticut, then Turner Sports in Atlanta, and now works in mobile app development for NASCAR here in Charlotte. He is 30 and has a 6 years younger brother who still lives in Indiana.  They are very close.  (His brother also got a full academic scholarship to college).  Matt has traveled to Australia and Paris and London and has a big desire to see more foreign places. He has begun playing ultimate Frisbee with me each week and attending Forest Hill Church with me.  He also likes a variety of old movies – especially North by Northwest and Vertigo.  But really, he likes most movies.  He plays drums (exceedingly well) and really enjoys most music.  

Last weekend, Matt joined Mom & Dad and myself to see the Circus.  It was very cool with a lot more aerialists and acrobatics than usual.  He then accompanied us to Outback where we met up with G-ma & G-pa, and Uncle Bob & Cheryl.  He says our moms and grandparents are very much alike.

Right now I’m most looking forward to my birthday – even though it’s more than a month away – because Matt and I just booked a trip to Disney where a few of his friends and my cousin   We’ll go to EPCOT and Magic Kingdom.  I’m SOOOOO excited!!!  We’re going to eat in the brand new Beauty & the Beast castle and also in France at EPCOT.  I love good food!

Michael will meet us.

(Speaking of Disney, I recently saw the Disney movie Frozen which I totally fell in love with!  I've been listening to the soundtrack nonstop. lol).  

I’m also looking forward to Valentine’s Day – the first time I’ll have an actual date on said holiday.  Matt is planning something but won’t tell me what, so I’m excited. I love surprises!

This Friday my roommates and I are hosting First Friday Night Dinner again.  Last month it didn’t end up happening, so I’m glad to have it resume this month.  It’s always interesting to see all the different friends who show up.  

I also had another article published in Boom Magazine: http://www.boomnc.com/featured-articles/heading-north-on-the-california-coast/.  Another even longer one will be published in March.

That's all for now folks! Photos to come soon!

December - A Season for Friends and Family

December is now gone.  Where has 2013 gone?  Christmas is past, New Years is upon us…and every second seems to go by at the speed of light.  But it has been a marvelous season.

With Gma and Gpa on Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving was really lovely.  After celebrating with Grandma and Grandpa, my parents and I went to the mountains where all four of the “Bailey Boys” (my Uncle David’s sons) were there visiting their parents.  I’m so lucky to have such close relationships with my cousins and it was so great to see them all together in once place again.  We always used to spend Thanksgiving with them, but it had been years since we were all together.  We didn’t do a whole lot – lounged around, played games, watched movies (and in the guys’ cases, watched football) – but it was still so nice.  

Sledding in the mountains.

I got to go sledding on a snow-covered hill that remained from the week before, and Michael and I got to take a ride in the 4-wheeler to the top of the mountain where we saw the sunset over the ski mountains in the distance.  It was one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen. 

During the month of December, I had a lot on my plate. I hosted First Friday Night Dinner at my house and we had about 30 people come.   I also took place in a shoe making party where you cut patterns from cloth that are then assembled into children’s shoes for kids in Africa to prevent them getting jiggers in their feet.  It’s cool to know that shoes I cut with my own hands will be on feet half way around the world. Erika came to visit for about 24 hours from Raleigh and we had a wonderful dinner with our lifegroup girls (she's an old member who now lives in LA), and we went out and sang karaoke together afterwards.

At work, we spent several days setting up Christmas trees in local hospitals with tons of stuffed puppies underneath.  As people have donated blood this month and last, donors got to sign little puppy tags to be attached to the stuffed animals.  The puppies are then given out to sick children in the hospitals around the area.  I personally got to deliver puppies to some of these children on two different occasions.  It was so rewarding to watch them light up as they snuggled with the little red and white animals.  

FFND with my Frisbee friends.

Lifegroup dinner with Erika

I performed in my silk aerial company’s December student show, which Mom, Dad, Grandma and Nicole came to watch.  I’m still enjoying that and it’s always nice to show off my new skills.  I also performed a dance this time, as I’ve been taking a modern dance class through Caroline Calouche & Co.’s studio too.

Christmas Eve my parents joined me at church for service, then we went home and ate a delicious dinner Mom made and watched “It’s a Wonderful Life.”  It was, as always, wonderful.

Christmas morning felt a bit lonely without Brett there.  It was like we kept expecting him to come downstairs.  But finally, we opened our presents just the three of us around 11:30 a.m.  Mom and Dad got me an under-cabinet radio/CD player/iPod player for my kitchen, as well as a spice rack.   Hopefully it will inspire me to cook… ;)

My silk performance

That afternoon, Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Bob came over for lunch and Mom had made a delicious turkey dinner with potatoes, green beans, carrots and rolls.  Grandma made yummy sweet potato casserole. It was very nice having them all over.

That evening, I headed up to Catawba to see Tiff and Mitch.  Tiffany’s baby belly is just starting to show, and it’s so exciting to know that I’ll be an “aunt” come May.  Tiff’s aunt, uncle and cousins were in town visiting her, and we all had a delicious ham dinner with plenty of fixings.  The next morning, I drove to Raleigh to see Lieselotte who was in town from Berkeley visiting her family.  We spent Thursday just catching up, playing games and watching a movie.  I always love visiting at her family’s home because it feels so much like my own.  It’s always clean and cheerful and smells good.  Her mother, like mine, is always feeding people and taking care of everyone and their whole family loves to play games and loves music.  

Shoe-making party.

On Friday evening I headed over to Erika’s family’s home in Cary.  Erika was in my bible study here in Charlotte until she moved to L.A. three years ago.  She has remained one of my closest friends, and I always go up and see her when she’s in Cary visiting her family. Her family, also, is a lot of fun and I love going to see them.  Erika’s parents made delicious chicken enchiladas for dinner that night and then all of us (Erika, her parents, her brother Aaron and I) played charades and other interactive games until it was time to go sing karaoke at a local bar.  Erika’s dad didn’t feel well, but the rest of us went.  Erika went to Chapel Hill as well and sang in an a cappella group there, so she’s an excellent singer. 

Christmas party with about 300 of my friends. :)

Aaron and I amused the crowd with our rendition of “Barbie Girl” and then he and Erika sang a rap song called “Regulate” which was beyond amusing since they are these two white kids who get up there and knew all the words and were thoroughly impressing the entire bar.  We all danced up a storm on the dance floor and all in all, had a marvelous evening.  

When we got back to the house, Barbara (their mom) put on a Michael Jackson record and we had an impromptu dance party in the living room.  

Lieselotte and me.

The next day I went back to Lieselotte’s house and spent some time with her until she had to go to a small reunion with high school friends.  I stayed at her house with her parents and sang songs while her mom played the mandolin.  I went to bed early and slept 12 hours! (Making up for the late night before).  On Sunday morning, Lies’ mom made a delicious oatmeal and fruit breakfast and I headed out to see Professor Gless in Chapel Hill on my way back to Charlotte.  

He’s now in need of platelet transfusions twice a week and red cell transfusions every 3 weeks.  None of the therapies they’ve tried so far have worked to combat his myelodysplastic syndrome (brought on by the chemo he had several years ago).  Right now, it’s looking like his only option may be a bone marrow transplant, but his sister was not a match, so now they are trying to find a match from the donor registry.  But at his age, a transplant is not a very safe option.  He and his wife continue to stay positive, and I continue to pray for a way out of this situation.  It breaks my heart to hear of his sufferings, and I can’t imagine visiting Chapel Hill and not being able to drop by for some tea and conversation.  So, needless to say, please keep Darryl Gless in your prayers.

Erika and me at karaoke

Last night after returning to Charlotte, I spent some time with Mom, Dad and Uncle David (who was in town) and then went to Sky High Sports with a friend of mine.  Sky High is a trampoline gym in which a huge room is covered in connected trampolines – even the walls.  It’s a lot of fun and GREAT exercise.  

Aaron and me at karaoke.

Tonight is a going away party for my dear friend Bethany who is about to embark on the World Race for the second time.  Except this time, she’s going as a team leader and will be responsible for the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of nearly 50 people as they travel through five third world countries over the next five months.  It will be an unbelievable challenge, but I can’t think of anyone better for the job.  

Tuesday evening my friend Zach will be arriving from NYC to spend New Years Eve and day in Charlotte.  He is a friend I met through CouchSurfing, so it will be good to see him again. 

After that, January should slow down a bit from the last two months.  But then again, it never does seem to work out that way. :)